


Love is a Battlefield

by EscapedMinds



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 06:47:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13382409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscapedMinds/pseuds/EscapedMinds
Summary: It's summer of 1984, a year since that fateful time spent together and Elio has decided to visit America in hopes he can find the closure he seeks.





	1. Cruel Summer

**Author's Note:**

> So i watched the movie and read the synopsis of the book, and needless to say the ending just didn't sit right with me. Then it occurred to me that my 80's obsession has come in handy yet again and i decided to implement some of the best and most fitting songs to this fic. Not gonna lie i was pretty appalled at the lack of 80s songs in the movie too. Oh and of course none of these songs or characters except for Oliver's wife belongs to me. (I couldn't figure out what oliver's wife's name was bc i hadn't read the book.)

The sun's warm rays filter in through the window along with the morning breeze. And the peach trees are already covered in delicious ripe fruit. This time of year in Italy it could be said it's the most beautiful, but Elio wanted no part in it. Summer reminded him of the love he had and lost. In that short span of time their love blossomed into something beautiful something real. And just as swift as it came it had left. That is not to say that their love for each other was no longer there, as much as it was just unobtainable. Months after Oliver had left him, he had gotten that dreadful phone call that made his world come down and shatter into a million pieces. He had known that their love was fragile, that there was no way it could’ve gone on. But somewhere deep down in the bottom of his heart he had hoped that once after both of their graduations they could meet again. 

This time of year all Elio had the strength to do was sit motionless and remember all of those precious moments they had together. And his intentions were to do just that until the brisk fall wind woke him up from his stupor. But halfway through summer his father laid a strange folded piece of paper near him smiled and left. Minutes flew by and finally his curiosity got the better of him and all he found were two words. “Chicago, Illinois.” Unsure of what to do he places the paper in a safe space and resumes his reminiscing while tears stream down his face. 

Days go by and that paper begins to bore holes into his soul, tempting him to grab everything and rush to America. His soul aches to be with him again, but his mind knows that he can’t be not truly not when he’s married. One day he left the radio on while sitting on the perch of his bedroom window reminiscing and a song that felt like it had spoken right to him had come on. Peculiar how the world can do that, give you little cues to help you decide and move forward. 

“It's a cruel, (cruel), cruel summer  
Leaving me here on my own  
It's a cruel, (it's a cruel), cruel summer  
Now you're gone  
The city is crowded  
My friends are away  
And I'm on my own  
It's too hot to handle  
So I got to get up and go”  
~ Cruel Summer by Bananarama 

It was the extra push he needed and he packed up his clothes, his new walkman, money, and the paper then he headed to his father’s office. “So you’ve decided to go after all? I’m happy for you, make sure to call when you land and when you get to the hotel.” “Will you tell mom for me?” “Of course, good luck I hope you find him.” “Thank you for everything.” “Of course son, stay safe.” And he hugs and cries into his father's arms. He hasn't the slightest clue what he'll find in america, and he doesn't know if he can find the courage or strength he'll need but he must try. He reminds himself that he needs closure that this is the reason why he travels not because he feels he is a jilted lover. Although he knows in his heart, that that’s the exact reason why.


	2. Mad World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio is in America now, so begins the hunt for his Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is where it veers away from the book and movie. I haven't read the book, so there will be inconsistencies for sure. Also i know Elio is a little out of character because he hadn't brought any of his sheet music or classical cassettes along. Mainly because we need more 80's music.

The noise, the numerous scents, the constant breeze, and all of the commotion were all in a race to overload his senses. This is the first time Elio has ever been in America alone and in Chicago, the buildings were so tall and everything around him felt so dead and cold. It was a stark contrast from his home in Italy. Hundreds of thousands of people bustling about, rushing to and fro had made Elio feel disoriented at best. How was he to find one man in this city? The only clue or assumption at this point was that Oliver was a professor at a college in Chicago teaching art history. That was easy right? Just find all of the colleges in Chicago that teach art history and ask if they have an Oliver… “Shit how in all of the time I knew him, I never asked what his last name was?!” 

Elio walked from street to street asking people about how to find a college and finally one asshole inevitably helped him. “Why don’t you go check the damn yellow pages you faggot!” He finally found a phone booth and scoured the pages for an Oliver or numbers to the local colleges. Unfortunately for him, there ended up being over 15 results. The day was slowly closing and he realized he’d need to find a cheap place to stay with a phone. So he ripped the pages from the phone book and went off to find a hotel. Unfortunately he hadn’t thought to ask his father for more money so he was only able to find a cheap rundown hostel. That night he resolved to call at least five of the Olivers he’s found to no avail. The next morning he called the rest after eating a piece of toast and coffee the old landlord graciously gave him. Unfortunately none of them were his Oliver, losing hope he decided to get some fresh air and grabbed his walkman, and what’s left of his cash and walked out into the bustling city. Without an aim or direction he just pressed play on his walkman and chose a random direction and kept walking. 

All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Bright and early for their daily races  
Going nowhere, going nowhere  
Their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression, no expression  
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow  
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had  
I find it hard to tell you 'cause I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles it's a very, very  
Mad world  
Mad world  
Mad world  
Mad world

~ Mad World by Tears for Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finding my favorite 80's songs to use that were made before or in 1984 is kind of tough. Some may have come out after the summer i haven't looked that far into it. 
> 
> Mad world is owned by © BMG Rights Management US, LLC and not me.


	3. A Brief Stroll Down Memory Lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief glimpse of what is going on with Oliver during Elio's first day in Chicago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay folks i gotta really start writing more. Oh and of course i don't own the rights to either of these songs

Another hot summer day in his office Oliver finally resolved to buy more fans since they hadn’t fixed the ac in his office yet. Amid the sounds of all of the fans and paper rustling a song came through the radio, a familiar voice reminding him of his last summer spent in the arms of a beautiful love. Love that he wished he had felt with his wife. He knew it was the right thing to do, to marry her since their plans were to marry after his graduation. He just wished that he could still find love for her after his summer with Elio. 

 

Love my way, it's a new road  
I follow where my mind goes, they'd put us on a railroad  
They'd dearly make us pay for laughing in their faces and making it our way  
There's emptiness behind their eyes, there's dust in all their hearts  
They just want to steal us all and take us all apart, but not in  
Love my way, it's a new road  
I follow where my mind goes  
Love my way, it's a new road  
I follow where my mind goes  
~ Love My Way by Psychedelic Furs 

Just then as if to torment him even more the radio decided to play a song that summed up all of the emotions he felt in the last five minutes. He should really turn that blasted thing off, but he was already down this path of love grief and beautiful memories that he didn’t have the strength to do anything else but just soak it all in. 

Since you've been away  
I've been down and lonely  
Since you've been away  
I've been thinking of you  
Trying to understand  
The reason you left me  
What were you going through?

I'm missing you  
Tell me why the road turns  
Ooh ooh  
I'm missing you  
Tell me why the road turns

As I look around  
I see things that remind me  
Just to see you smile  
Made my heart fill with joy  
I'll still recall  
All those dreams we shared together  
Where did you run to, boy?  
~ Missing You By Diana Ross 

Once the song was over the commercial break awoke him from his stupor and he decided to call it for the day and come in earlier in the morning to plan something for the day. He took his time returning home in hopes that the feeling of longing would dissipate enough for him to tuck it away again. But he was never a lucky man, even though Chicago was the complete opposite of Lombardy Italy he still managed to find little things here and there to remind him. He’s seen young men with dark hair during his commute around town and every time he wished it were his Elio. Every time his mind conjured up images of Elio, he would always remember those soulful hazel eyes. His dark beautiful locks of hair and those soft and pliant lips. God even a year later his soul, his very being, still burns for Elio but this is real life. This is 1984, homosexual love and with the aids scare running rampant there would be no happy ending to their tale. No, to keep Elio safe he must cut out his heart, that’s the only option left to him right? 

 

His emotions ran rapid all the way home, when he finally arrived he had to stop in at the door to soak in his new life. Their relationship before he had gone to Italy was open, they had no secrets from each other. And even though in his heart he felt guilty for keeping this from her, he wanted to keep Elio all to himself. Even though in reality he knew they never could be together again. He tried his best to put on his best face, not wanting to reveal anything to his wife and strode into his new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for hanging in there, i'm not sure how many more chapters there will be. If i keep going at this short chapter pace then probably a lot. Anyway i hope you liked it, and i'm in a bit of a writer's block but i will assure you i'm not throwing this fic away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The star crossed lovers finally reunite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness i'm sorry everyone i hadn't noticed how long ago it was that i last updated this. Got caught up with work and trying to figure out what to write i guess. For those of you that have been patiently waiting i apologize and hope you like this and for those that are new here welcome and i hope you also like this.

Elio after traveling around the city finds himself in front of Colombia University. He strolls right in, blending in as a student and asks a passerby where he could find a professor Oliver…  
“Um do you know his last name?”  
“No…”  
“Well, you can ask admissions maybe they know. Take a left and go all the way down the hall it should be the last door on your right.”  
He finds the door labeled admissions and waltzes in to find a secretary looking up from her desk.  
“Hi, how many I help you?”  
“I’m looking for a Professor Oliver.”  
“Ah, did he not tell you where his office is?”  
“No…”  
“Well you might’ve missed him he usually doesn’t stay that long and he prefers to work from home a lot.”  
“Oh, do you know his address?”  
“I can’t give that out to you sir, but why do you ask?”  
“He really wanted to see me, for um grades.” Grades ha, I’d never be able to pay attention with him as my professor, he mused.  
“Well I’ll tell you where his office is and his office hours, but I’m afraid I can’t give you his address.”  
“…Ok that’ll be good.”  
She writes down the directions and the door number on a post-it note.  
“Here you go, sorry couldn’t help you out more. I hope you find him and have a nice rest of the semester.”  
“Thank you.”  
After roaming the halls and finding himself walking in circles he finally finds the office. He knocks but no reply. He tries the door and surprisingly it’s not locked. The door clicks open and he finds books littered throughout the room and papers strewn all over his desk. The window is slightly open letting in a draft interrupting the musty studious atmosphere. He walks over to the window to see the view of the campus, then decides to fall onto the chair and twirls around in it. Out of the corner of his eye he spots a drawer that’s half closed. His curiosity overrides everything and he opens it to find tickets to Italy and their photo. “I guess that’s all I am now, a secret.” Tears began welling up and he takes a moment to compose himself. Hanging up on a coat rock was one of Oliver’s blazers he left in his rush to go home. Elio timidly walks up to it and inhales his Oliver’s scent. Minutes maybe hours go by he doesn’t know, he’s lost in thought as the setting sun streams beautiful warm hues of color into the room. 

\--------------

Back at Olivers home: Oliver’s pov 

“Honey I forgot my papers at my office I’m gonna go back and get them.” Oliver shouts out to his wife, as he makes to leave.  
“Can’t you just get them in the morning? I’ve got dinner coming soon.” A voice calls back from across the house.  
“Sorry honey I promised the kids I’ll have them done for tomorrow. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”  
“Okay, I’ll wait for you this once.” She comes up to him before he leaves and kisses him.  
“Thanks I’ll be right back.”  
“Love you.”  
“Love you too.” He kisses her one more time before he leaves.

\--------

At the door of his office he stops in his tracks, he has this strange feeling and he’s almost afraid to open the door but brushes it off and pushes through. On the other side he finds beautiful raven hair staring out the window and the sun illuminating that face he so loved with all his heart. Elio thinking he heard the door open looks and sees those blue eyes that haunted his every waking moment staring right back at him.  
“Elio, what are you doing here?”  
“I..I finally found you.”  
Oliver closes the distance in one stride and pulls the younger man into his embrace.  
“I wished I could see you again.”  
“Elio…”  
“Oliver..”  
And they kiss with a passion that rivaled the classic romantics of old. When they break for air Oliver moves his hands to cup that elegant porcelain face to once again fall into the depths of those hazel green eyes. An eternity passes before Elio breaks the silence.  
“Come back with me.”  
“To Italy?”  
“There too, but no to my room I rented.”  
“Yes, I’ll follow you anywhere.”  
“Good.”  
Papers & promise forgotten they leave the campus and rush to Elios rented room. Oliver takes in the filth of the place and convinces him to let him get a room at a better hotel. They pack Elios things and they take the train to another hotel. The whole way they were silent, anxiety was like electric currents running beneath their skin.  
Once they check in Elio throws his stuff on the floor and assaults Oliver’s mouth pushing him back into the door. They kiss and walk towards the bed. Not even wasting a second Oliver tears Elio’s clothes off like a madman and adds his own to the pile on the floor. His mouth makes his way down that beautiful porcelain skin and he mouths “Do you have any lube?” Between moans Elio replies “I don’t care, don’t need it.” Oliver looks up with concern in his eyes. “It’ll be extremely painful if I don’t find something Elio.” “I don’t care I haven’t felt you or anything in the past year. Make me feel again.” Something clicks inside Oliver and he realizes he can’t wait any more. He’s been lusting over this body for a year now and he’s finally in his grasp. He hurriedly slicks himself as best as he can with spit and precum and slowly pushes in inch by inch until he bottoms out. Elio grabs his arms with a death grip holding back screams of pain mixed with pleasure. Oliver starts a slow pace and he finds the spot within Elio that makes him moan with pleasure. It’s been a year but they were meant to be together they know each other through and through. As if together they are one.  
Moans escape those beautiful lips that haunted his dreams and Oliver devours each and every one. Oliver can’t seem to satiate the beast inside him that taunts him to be unrelenting. The pace becomes impossibly brutal and all Elio can do is hold on for dear life.  
Elio feels the pressure building in his lover and finally releases his strength to hold on any longer and falls apart at the seams. Oliver follows soon after flooding Elio’s hole, and he can’t remember the last time he felt this alive. He begins to pull out but with the little strength Elio had left he wraps his legs around him and stops him.  
“I want you in me for a little longer.”  
“Okay, anything for you.”  
Oliver’s strength finally fails him and he collapses on top of Elio.  
“Oomf you’re heavy.”  
“Want me to get off?”  
“No, not yet.”  
“You really missed me didn’t you? Can’t get enough of me.”  
“Shut up don’t ruin the moment.”  
“Sorry.”  
Elio wraps his arms around Oliver and they both blissfully fall asleep.


	5. Boys of Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys enjoying a little trip that might be their last together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait everyone, I'm hoping to start writing more unless writer's block or my job finds me first.

The older man awakens to a room with sun pouring in through the windows landing on a strip of beautiful pale flesh. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s awoken to such a heavenly sight. Alas it must’ve been when he was in Italy last. In this moment he doesn’t have a care in the world, this could be a dream or he could actually be in heaven. But he doesn’t care, all he knows is he could be in this exact moment for all of eternity. He doesn’t dare to touch the soft dark curls that entice him, or to caress that beautiful skin he knows now like the back of his hand. He chooses to stay still, to soak it all in, to engrain it into his memory for ages to come. Because he knows it won’t last long, life will come crashing back down to ruin everything, just as it always does. 

Just then the boy must’ve awoken from his thoughts, for he stirs into wakefulness. “Good morning.” He grumbles…”Good morning Elio.” His hands couldn’t resist any longer and they fly to his hair, his pale cheek, and then to those soft pink lips. He traces those lips and he thinks he’s drunk in love with this boy, no this young man in front of him.   
“Now look at who can’t get enough of me.” They both chuckle and then finally free themselves from the bed to take turns in the bathroom. 

“So what would you like to do today? I’m off until Tuesday.” Elio stares into the mirror pondering what he would even want to do. He didn’t think this far ahead yet. “I’m not sure, but I guess I’d like to see what your American beaches are like.” “Well it’s Illinois we’re kind of land locked. The best beaches in the country are in Cali or Florida.” “Hmmm….Let’s go to California!” “That will take like three to five days, and even if we drive nonstop it’ll be like 30 hours.” “Then let’s leave now!” “You just got here and you want to go on the road again?! The wonder of the youth.” Elio chuckles and playfully punches Oliver’s arm and he feigns pain. “It’ll be fun besides don’t you Americans like to talk about those cross country road trips a lot?!”   
Oliver wraps his arms around the younger man in front of the mirror and kisses his neck. “True that would be very American, and I wouldn’t be doing my civic duty if I didn’t show you around this beautiful country.” Just then he smears shaving cream all over Elios face and runs out of the bathroom. 

\----Five Hours into the Road trip ----  
“How much longer is it?!” Oliver quietly chuckles, “You’re getting agitated already aren’t you?! Well we’ve got about 20-25 more hours to go. I’m gonna have to call off when we get there, I have to see if I can get a substitute to cover me for Tuesday.” “Oh I’m sorry I completely forgot you had to teach!” “It’s okay I’ve never taken off yet so they’ll be shocked. Plus I didn’t have anything planned yet or graded. Anyway hey are you hungry?””A little..”Just then his stomach betrays him and grumbles loudly, causing the older man to chuckle. “Let’s get some burgers, you’re eating all American foods on the way there, with the exception of some Mexican food depending on where we are by then.”

They grab burgers at a local mom and pop restaurant, and the light in Elio’s eyes after biting into his first real American burger makes Oliver’s heart flutter for a second. He tries not to let reality come crashing down in the moments like these. But he begins to wonder how he will ever let this boy go? Will he be able to now that he’s come back to him? How did that saying go again? Something like if it leaves and never comes back you know it wasn’t meant to be but if it does come back you know it’s yours? But he knows he has to let Elio go, for his career and for his wife. “Oh Shit!” He hadn’t called his wife and she was waiting up for him last night! He rushes to the phone booth in the back leaving Elio sit in confusion. But he shrugs it off and continues to eat.   
The dial tone continues relentlessly and he thinks maybe she’s out or maybe she’s punishing him. All manner of thought rages through his mind when the phone clicks. “Hi honey, I’m sorry about last night I started grading papers and lost track of time and then on the way back I ran into some old friends and well I’ll be back by Tuesday night.” He hears a loud sigh and he fears that this time he might’ve fucked up big time. “Why didn’t you call?! I waited up till around two in the morning for you! I was worried sick!” “Honey I’m sorry, they only just arrived in town and they asked me to hang out with them until they leave again. It’ll only be for a couple of days.” “Who are your friends Oli? You never mentioned them before, oh and why don’t you bring them by the house?” Great why did she have to make things even more complicated? He decided to make his story filled with half lies, “They’re from Italy, remember the people I stayed with when I was there? Well they came to visit, and maybe later some time.” He needed to end this conversation quick for both his sake and Elio’s. “Oh they’re motioning for me, got to go sorry bye hun!” If that wasn’t the most white lie infused with the truth cocktail of a story he’s ever given her he doesn’t know what would top that. 

He falls back into the seat and tries to compose himself. “So was that her?” Elio whispers over his now empty plate. “Yes, I forgot to tell her I will be away for a while.” “So, we’re still going to Cali?””Yes.” And Elio smiles although it doesn’t quite reach up to his eyes like they normally do. But what did Oliver expect, talking about his wife to the man he loves. 

\-----20 Hours Later------  
Elio basks in the sun, with the convertible top down and wind flowing through his hair. He hasn’t felt this relaxed and free since his last summer with Oliver. He looks over at his Adonis casually driving , and he too is reveling in the amount of sun. Elio always wondered what someone so bright, beautiful, and so kind could have seen in him? But he perishes the thought and chooses to just bask in what they have. Even if it’s short and knows life is going to tear them apart again, he wants to ingrain each and every inch of this man and this moment into his memory to cherish till the end of time. Oh jeez being dramatic again Elio, he thinks to himself. He leans over and gives Oliver a warm smile and turns the radio on. And just as always, it seems to know exactly what to play in that moment. 

Nobody on the road,  
Nobody on the beach.  
I feel it in the air,  
The summer's out of reach.  
Empty lake, empty streets,  
The sun goes down alone.  
I'm driving by your house  
Don't know you're not home.  
But I can see you,  
Your brown skin shining in the sun.  
You got your hair combed back  
And your sunglasses on, baby.  
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong  
After the boys of summer have gone.  
I never will forget those nights.  
I wonder if it was a dream.  
Remember how you made me crazy,  
Remember how I made you scream.  
I don't understand what happened to our love.  
But, baby, I'm gonna get you back,  
I'm gonna show you what I'm made of.  
I can see you,  
Your brown skin shining in the sun.  
I see you walking real slow   
And you're smiling at everyone.  
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong  
After the boys of summer have gone.  
Out on the road today I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac.  
A little voice inside my head said:  
"Don't look back, you can never look back."  
I thought I knew what love was.  
What did I know?  
Those days are gone forever.  
I should just let 'em go, but  
I can see you,  
Your brown skin shining in the sun.  
You got that top pulled down,  
And that radio on, baby.  
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong,  
After the boys of summer have gone.  
I can see you,  
Your brown skin shining in the sun.  
You got that hair slicked back,  
And those Wayfarers on, baby.  
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong,  
After the boys of summer have gone

 

~ Boys of Summer by Don Henley The Boys of Summer lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Cass County Music / Wisteria Music / Privet Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boys of Summer by Don Henley The Boys of Summer lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Cass County Music / Wisteria Music / Privet Music 
> 
> I don't have rights to this song, or the boys, just the story.


	6. What a Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little side adventure and then final destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is short and thank you for your patience. Chapter seven is longer and def more juicy and filled with music so be ready! Also as always i don't own these characters or any of the songs.

Twenty seven hours later and they were almost at their destination when Elio spotted a sign on the side of the road reading ‘ Annual Summer Fair Next Exit. ‘ “Hey can we go to the fair?” “What?! But we’re almost at the hotel. Just another four hours tops, I kind of want to get there before night.” “Oh come on it’ll only be for an hour tops please! Think of it as a classic American date, don’t you take the date to the movies or the fair?” “You’ve watched too many movies, but yeah I guess that is a typical American date.” “So then please?!” Oliver rolls his eyes and heaves a dramatic sigh. “You know I can’t say no to you.” “Yes!” “But only for an hour! Jeez why do I feel like a parent?” “Because you’re old.” “Don’t remind me.” “Anyway take me on a classic American date!” 

/////30 Mins Later\\\\\\\\\

“Ugh I don’t feel good.” “I told you not to go on the spinning rides after eating funnel cake!” “I know I know, Dad!” “Hey stop making me feel old!” And all of a sudden Elio’s past five minutes of complaining about his stomach vanished and he was awe struck at the sight of the ferris wheel. “Oo, let’s go on the ferris wheel!” Oliver rolled his eyes and sighed. “What did I just say about going on spinning rides after eating?” “It’s slow enough I’ll be fine, come on!” Elio pulls on Oliver’s shirt like a helpless kid. “Okay but this is the last one we wasted enough time as it is.” Elio pouts at Oliver and gave him the puppy eyes but Oliver glared at him and Elio relented with an over dramatic sigh. “That’s fine.” 

“This is amazing, I don’t think I’ve been up this high before!”Oliver chuckles at Elio’s childlike wonder “When we get back I’ll show you the Sears Tower in Chicago.” Elio completely ignored him and gawked at the sight as they finally made it to the top. At the very top they see mountains in the distance and planes as far as the eyes can see. And in that moment both Elio and Oliver felt like nothing could touch them. And like clockwork the fair speakers play a song that perfectly encapsulates the moment. 

Well, I hear the music  
Close my eyes, feel the rhythm  
Wrap around  
Take a hold of my heart  
What a feeling  
Bein's believin'  
I can have it all  
Now I'm dancing for my life  
Take your passion  
And make it happen  
Pictures come alive  
You can dance right through your life  
Now I hear the music  
Close my eyes, I am rhythm  
In a flash  
It takes hold of my heart

Songwriters: Irene Cara / Keith Forsey / Giorgio Moroder / Shinichi Osawa  
Flashdance...What A Feeling lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

//////5 Hours Later\\\\\\\\\\\

They make it the hotel a little late and Elio rushes to their balcony and stares out into the beautiful sunset. “That traffic was killer, but look at this view!” He looks back to tell Oliver to join him but he’s already fast asleep on the bed. Deciding to leave him be he turned back around and just enjoyed the view. In the distance he hears the sounds of waves crashing upon the beach and breathes in the smell of the ocean air. This was the closest he had come to true unadulterated bliss in a long time. Then among the sounds of the ocean he hears the faint sound of a radio playing in the distance. 

Hold me now, warm my heart  
Stay with me, let loving start (let loving start)  
You say I'm a dreamer, we're two of a kind  
Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find  
So perhaps I should leave here, yeah yeah go far away  
But you know that there's no where that I'd rather be than with you here  
Today  
Hold me now, warm my heart  
Stay with me, let loving start (let loving start)  
You ask if I love you, well what can I say?  
You know that I do and if this is just one of those games that we play  
So I'll sing you a new song, please don't cry anymore  
And then I'll ask your forgiveness, though I don't know just what I'm  
Asking it for  
Hold me now, warm my heart  
Stay with me, let loving start (let loving start)

Songwriters: Alannah Joy Currie / Joseph Martin Leeway / Tom Bailey  
Hold Me Now lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group


	7. Separate Ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe the title of this whole fic is a pat benatar song i never used! Well i fixed that and put another more fitting song of hers. As always i don't own these characters or these songs. I hope you enjoy and thanks for hanging in there patiently waiting.

Elio was the first to wake this time, he stared at Oliver’s sleeping form and wished dearly that this could be his life now, just them together forever. What they had now felt like a dream that he wished the world would be lenient enough to let it go on forever. But he knew those thoughts were hopeless, maybe in the future someday It won’t be frowned upon as much to love whoever you wanted to. 

His thoughts spiraled downhill and he had to be alone. He got dressed and went down to the beach unwilling to wake his exhausted partner. The sun was finally beginning to peak out over the horizon, but even the prospect of daylight couldn’t veer his mind off of the negative thoughts that began to plague him. On his way to the beach he hears that blasted radio again, coming from god knows where. And unfortunately for Elio, it seems to know what to play at that precise moment. 

Never again, isn't that what you said?  
You've been through this before  
An' you swore this time you'd think with your head  
No one, would ever have you again  
And if taking was gonna get done  
You'd decide where and when  
Just when you think you got it down  
Your heart securely tied and bound  
They whisper, promises in the dark

Armed and ready, you fought love battles in the night  
But too many opponents made you weary of the fight  
Blinded by passion, you foolishly let someone in  
All the warnings went off in your head  
Still you had to give in

Just when you think you got it down  
Resistance nowhere to be found  
They whisper, promises in the dark

But promises, you know what they're for  
It sounds so convincing, but you heard it before  
'Cause talk is cheap and you gotta be sure  
And so you put up your guard  
And you try to be hard  
But your heart says try again

Songwriters: Pat Benatar / Pat Geraldo  
Promises in the Dark lyrics © BMG Rights Management US, LLC

 

The song wasn’t lying though, he was hurt already by Oliver what the hell does he think he’s going to do when the inevitable happens again? There’s no way this was going to have a happy ending. Elio covers his head in his arms hoping that he could shut out the world. Then suddenly warm hands rest on his shoulders and he knows who it is. “Hey what are you doing out here? Couldn’t wait for me?” He looks up and out to the ocean, hoping that Oliver won’t see how close he is to losing control of his emotions. “I didn’t want to wake you up.” Thankfully his voice didn’t come out too estranged. 

“That’s fine, wow the sunrise is beautiful here.” 

“Kind of reminds me of home.” 

“You miss it?” 

“A little.” 

“That’s understandable. So hey why don’t u come back up with me and we can have breakfast.” Oliver gets up and brushes the sand off his pants. 

“In a bit.” This time Elio knew his voice cracked. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Yeah….”

“You know you can tell me anything right?”

“I know…”

“Then what is it?”

Elio’s hold on his emotions start to waver further and he decides to just tell him the truth at this point. “I just don’t want all of this to end. You here with me now, it all feels like a dream and I don’t want to wake up but I know I have to.” 

“I feel the same way.” He kicks the sand at his feet. “But let’s try not to think about it when we’re still dreaming.” 

“You don’t understand Oliver. I don’t know how I can go on again after this. When you left I couldn’t even pick up a pencil. Colors were lost to me, music fell on deaf ears.”

Oliver stunned by his confession was unsure of what to say but he knew that whatever he was about to say he won’t be able to take it back. “You’re just being dramatic, you’re only a kid.”

“And what, I’m not supposed to know what real heart break is?!”

Oliver wanted to bite his own tongue off, he tried to make it better. “That’s not what I meant. You’re young yet, in time you’ll get over it.” 

“Like you did?” Both were rendered speechless and the silence stretched on for what felt like hours. 

“What are you talking about?” Oliver whispered. 

“I saw your drawer. I saw those tickets and the picture, you had me tucked away safely like a secret. Is that all I am to you?” Elio’s emotions went all haywire he didn’t know if he was sad or angry at Oliver, maybe a bit of both. 

“You know you’re not.” Oliver whispered trying to reassure both of them, even though he can feel his anger rising. 

“Do I? I came all the way here-“

“And what did you expect to find when you came?! Did you expect me to break up my marriage and come live with you and your family in Italy?! I’m sorry but this isn’t a fairy tale world Elio! Grow the hell up!” Oliver knew he shouldn’t have said it but he was unable to hold back any longer. 

*Smack!* Elio smacked him straight across his face, and bolted. Tears streamed down his face as he unleashed all of his pent up energy into his sprint. He runs until his strength fails him and he collapses onto the sand. Emotions flow through him like a torrent unwilling to stop if he could. Oliver walks up to him and holds his shaking form. 

“I don’t know what to do.” 

“Neither do I.” 

They stay like that for a long time just holding each other rocking on the sand. Both are unsure of how to proceed, or if they even want to. Elio finally calms down, and Oliver sensing the change helps Elio to his feet. “Let’s go back, I know it’s hard but we can still make the best of our last day.” Elio wipes his tears and nods. 

Back at their room, with food from the room service all devoured, the lovers silently sit on the couch staring mindlessly at the TV. Neither of which knew how to proceed or if they even wanted to, the nervous energy emanating from them finally broke Oliver and he kissed Elio on the forehead. Then he began to trail kisses all the way down to that spot between his neck and shoulders that made Elio melt. His eyes held Oliver’s gaze and he pulled them up and led them to their shared bedroom. Elio collapsed onto the bed and motioned seductively to Oliver to join him. Like in a trance they both shed their clothes and hold each other’s gaze both unable to look away. 

Oliver’s heated gaze scorches the very spot that Elio lay. And seconds later his hands follow the same path scorching skin as they go, igniting their passion further. He felt his whole body, even down to his finger tips were on fire. Oliver’s lips devoured his lover’s and they kissed with desperation of a parched man. Any fears they previously had about the future melted away. In this moment nothing could’ve tainted their thoughts, all they felt was their undying love for each other. 

Oliver set a languid pace both wanting to stretch this moment out as long as they could. When they first reunited several days ago, it was rushed. And now they took their time painting each other’s bodies into their memory with their hands. He trailed kisses down to his lover’s feet and back up again to tease his gaping hole. 

When Oliver’s tongue lapped at the bundle of nerves, Elio squirmed and gasped in shock. Which made his lover chuckle against his hole and promptly dive right in. His goal was to consume every inch of Elio so that he could have this with him forever. Elio writhed in the sheets from that awfully delicious and skillful tongue. He moaned and cried out for more. “Please!”  
Oliver chuckled and pushed his tongue in further. Elio gasped and shouted, “Oliver!” He pulled out and Elio watched a string of saliva drip from his lover’s gorgeous lips. At that sight he couldn’t form a single sentence only a soft plea. 

“Please what?”

“Fuck me…”

“Of course.” Oliver went to grab the lube off the side table before Elio could protest the absence of his warmth. He slicked up his fingers and pushed them in slowly until he reached his knuckles. Elio’s moan was so drawn out and beautiful. Oliver can’t believe what he must’ve done in his past life to be rewarded with this beauty. 

He slowly pumped in and out angling his fingers hitting that spot inside him every time. But it wasn’t enough for either of them. “Please!” Oliver in this moment couldn’t deny him anything. He would give him the moon, had he only asked. He promptly lubed himself up and slowly pushed in, giving Elio time to adjust. When the painful look on his face had lessened, Oliver took that as his cue to continue.  
When earlier his touch had felt like a raging fire, this felt like waves hitting the shore. It was beautifully calm and yet relentless. This sensation between them felt like belonging and freedom. The likes of which neither of them had experienced before. 

Too soon for both of their liking Elio felt fireworks erupting under his skin and his vision white out as he came undone. His body clenched around his lover’s length and drove him to his limit. He too came undone, filling his lover’s inside with his seed and promptly collapsed on top of Elio.  
And in that moment they felt like one in each other’s arms, unsure of where either began and ended. The comfortable silence only disturbed by the sound of each other’s ragged breathing. Then before they felt the pull of sleep Elio heard the whisper of his lover. “Call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine.” 

“Elio”

“Oliver”

Sleep threatened to drag them under further and before Elio had succumbed to it he felt a soft breeze from the window cooling his flushed skin. And the sound of that mysterious radio again, playing a faint song that yet again was perfect. 

Tonight I celebrate my love for you  
It seems the natural thing to do  
Tonight no one's gonna find us  
We'll leave the world behind us  
When I make love to you  
Tonight I celebrate my love for you  
And hope that deep inside you'll feel it, too  
Tonight our spirits will be climbing  
To a sky filled up with diamonds  
When I make love to you, tonight  
Tonight I celebrate my love for you  
And that midnight sun is gonna come shining through

Songwriters: Gerry Goffin / Michael Masser  
Tonight I Celebrate My Love lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

 

The next morning came all too soon for both lovers. Neither of them knew what to say, both were too afraid of ruining the moment, or maybe they were afraid that it would cement the reality of their situation. They packed in silence and as they headed to their car, Elio stopped and from the corner of his eye a silver boom box caught his eye and he smiled to himself. He was surprised it wasn’t blaring away a song that was sure to encapsulate their exact feelings in that moment. He jumped into the car and was glad that it was early so it was quiet save for the occasional seagulls. Oliver reached over and held his lover’s hand and placed a gentle kiss there. Then he turned on the radio and pulled out of the lot. As they make it onto the road Elio grabbed his hand and held it, as an anchor for his emotions and since this would be the last. 

The world is always changing  
Nothing stays the same  
But love will stand the test of time  
The next life that we live in  
Remains to be seen  
Will you be by my side  
I often pray before I lay down by your side  
If you receive your calling before I awake  
Could I make it through the night  
Cherish the love we have  
We should cherish the life we live  
Cherish the love  
Cherish the life  
Cherish the love  
Cherish the love we have  
For as long as we both shall live  
Cherish the love  
Cherish the life  
Cherish the love  
Songwriters: Claydes Smith / Ronald Bell / George Brown / Robert Bell / James Taylor / Curtis Williams / James Bonneford  
Cherish lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

 

/////30 Hours later\\\\\

The drive back felt quicker, and before they knew it they arrived back in Chicago and were standing at the threshold of Elio’s flight. Oliver wanted to kiss him, hold him, and never let him go but he knew that this is the real world, he had to let go. As Elio was about to board his plane he looked back at Oliver and shouted “Elio,” and was happy to get a reply back. “Oliver!” 

Elio found his seat on the plane and felt like he was on autopilot. He went through the motions and without sparing a single thought turned his walkman on. He needed to drown out all sounds including his own thoughts. He couldn’t let himself think about the man he just left behind nor the time they spent together. But as fate and the damn radio taunted him so did his walkman, and as the song played a single tear fell down his face. Thoughts that he tried to hold back flooded his mind and he was paralyzed. 

So take a look at me now  
Well there's just an empty space  
And there's nothing left here to remind me  
Just the memory of your face  
Ooh, take a look at me now  
Well there's just an empty space  
And you coming back to me is against the odds  
And that's what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around  
Turn around and see me cry  
There's so much I need to say to you  
So many reasons why  
You're the only one who really knew me at all

Songwriters: Phil Collins  
Against All Odds lyrics © Imagem Music Inc

 

Oliver wakes up in the middle of the night feeling absolutely crushed, how was he going to live again after this? He lays in the dark staring up at the ceiling remembering the times they shared. It was hard the first time around, but somehow this was worse. He gets up and quietly leaves his sleeping wife behind and jumps into his car. Driving always seemed to clear his head, he turns on the radio and cruises the city. Tears roll down his cheeks as all of his memories of that boy who stole his heart, came flooding back to him. 

I know your eyes in the morning sun  
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain  
And the moment that you wander far from me  
I want to feel you in my arms again  
And you come to me on a summer breeze  
Keep me warm in your love, then you softly leave  
And it's me you need to show  
How deep is your love, how deep is your love  
How deep is your love?  
I really mean to learn  
'Cause we're living in a world of fools  
Breaking us down when they all should let us be  
We belong to you and me  
I believe in you  
You know the door to my very soul  
You're the light in my deepest, darkest hour  
You're my savior when I fall  
And you may not think I care for you  
When you know down inside that I really do  
And it's me you need to show

Songwriters: Barry Gibb / Maurice Ernest Gibb / Robin Hugh Gibb  
How Deep Is Your Love lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4 songs in one chapter?! Holy hell this is a first. So We're at the end everyone just one more epilogue to go. Don't worry it'll be happy! I need these boys to be happy! Also sorry again if the romantic and smutty parts always seem so robotic. I'm afraid i'm better at writing tragedies, however i'm trying to get better at it all.


	8. Forever Yours Faithfully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Ending epilogue that I promised all of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's short, i felt like it needed to be short and sweet. Thank you so much for sticking with me on this long journey, i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did writing it. Oh and as always i don't own any rights to the songs or the characters.

It’s been 30 some years since that faithful summer, and not a moment goes by that Elio doesn’t remember him. He was his first love after all, they had tried to keep in contact over the years but distance and time had kept them apart. Another dashing man came into Elio’s life and they had been inseparable since, until three years ago cancer had gotten the best of him. Since then his life was filled with nothing but wonderful memories. Everyday felt like he was living in the past and yet at his old age he had no qualms about doing so. 

Seasons came and went and soon enough he realized the pain didn’t ache as much anymore. Time truly did its best in healing pain. When one day his past had finally caught up to him, and gave him a fork in the road. He was in yet another trance recounting the days with his late lover and heading out to the local market for supplies when he stumbled upon a man gazing intently upon his prize winning garden with scrutiny and also fondness in his eyes. (As if he was recounting memories of long past.) Just then the man had noticed he had company and turned and immediately Elio’s world had frozen in place. Those eyes, it’s been years but he could never forget those beautiful eyes that always seem to pierce through his very soul. He doesn’t know who moved first but suddenly he was embraced by the arms he had dreamed about for years. 

Elio pulled back staring intently into his first love’s eyes silently asking him to kiss him. As if Oliver could deny him anything he leaned down and held Elio’s head in his hands and placed the most gentle and passionate kiss on his lips. Elio gasped he hasn’t felt this kind of connection for a very long time, especially not since his partner had passed on. Before his mind can catch up he whispered to Oliver “Please Stay.” 

Oliver didn’t know what to expect when he found Elio’s home again, he certainly didn’t dare to hope that Elio would have him again after all of these years. But it was just like his Elio to surprise him, without missing a beat Oliver embraced him once again “As you wish.” All of the years melted away and what was left was their love for each other that had not faltered over time. And like the times so many years ago he heard music that seemed to have come from nowhere at all, and it was perfect. 

Highway run  
Into the midnight sun  
Wheels go round and round  
You're on my mind  
Restless hearts  
Sleep alone tonight  
Sendin' all my love  
Along the wire  
They say that the road  
Ain't no place to start a family  
Right down the line  
It's been you and me  
And lovin' a music man  
Ain't always what it's supposed to be  
Oh girl you stand by me  
I'm forever yours, faithfully  
Circus life  
Under the big top world  
We all need the clowns  
To make us smile  
Through space and time  
Always another show  
Wondering where I am  
Lost without you  
And being apart ain't easy on this love affair  
Two strangers learn to fall in love again  
I get the joy  
Of rediscovering you  
Oh girl, you stand by me  
I'm forever yours, faithfully  
Oh, oh, oh, oh  
Faithfully, I'm still yours  
I'm forever yours  
Ever yours, faithfully

Songwriters: Jonathan Cain  
Faithfully lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh i can't believe it's over. But i guess all things must come to an end, thank you all again for joining me. I hope if not anything else that this song got you as emotional as i did while writing this.

**Author's Note:**

> Cruel Summer is owned by © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc 
> 
> I don't own the rights


End file.
